enfermiza

Yay.

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 14:44:42 GMT

114.6
Thank god I'm under 115.

Progress.

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 01:13:09 GMT

Name: Suzy
Age: 19.
What ED you have: Ed-nos.
Height:5'5" 1.65 m
High Weight: 147.5 lbs 67 kilos
Current Weight: 115.4 lbs 52 kilos
Low Weight: 115.4 lbs 52 kilos

I can't remember ever not feeling this way.
Ever.
Sixteen til Present Day.>

(123 lbs/56 kilos.)

(Sixteen.)

(Seventeeth Birthday. 8/30/06)

(New Year's 12/31/06)

(Spring '07)

In November, I moved to England. No pictures from then. I came home from England in December '07 at 147.5/67 kilos. I was so ugly.

(I bought this amazing coat in England, it's so amazing I'm wearing it today.. This has to be pretty soon after I got home. Fat face.)

(2/18/08)

(At a party I threw..)

(3/1/08)

(Before May '08)

(May '08. Someone asked if I was pregnant in this picture, doesn't surpise me, I look it.)

(June '08)

(August '08. Sex museum Amsterdam.)

(FATTTTTT. Same place. Same day.)

(Still in Amsterdam. August '08)

(Halloween '08)

(12/4/08)

(1/6/09 134 lbs/60 kilos)

(Spring Semester '09)

(Spring Semester '09)

(Spain! Same skirt as picture on 1/6/09)

(Spain!)

Showing off my badass shirt!!

(Today, 115.4 lbs/52 kilos)

(Today, 115.4 lbs/52 kilos)

Please help me.

Wed, 01 Apr 2009 22:56:07 GMT

I feel like I'm going insane.
I've by passed my STGW(I'm at work, soz for the shorthand.) and am now 116lbs or 53 kilos.
I don't know how I look but none of my pants fit.
People are starting to notice.
I had lunch with two friends today, one is legally blind and the other is this tiny waif-like girl.
They teased me for eating my salad, said I didn't need rabbit food.
We sat and smoked cigarettes on a bench and the tiny girl told me she used to be a nurse until she had a heart attack.
My brain flipped shit and thought maybe she had/has an ED.
Nope, she's got congestive heart failure.

She says I need iron.
That's why I eat nuts only.
Yeah, pretty much I only eat nuts.
Kinda silly isn't it?

Today, I had some nuts, a salad and some bold party chex mix, but only because I ran into one of the girls I had lunch with and wanted to eat in front of her.
Same way I eat in front of my roommate's.
Well, one of them knows.
I hate her.

Yesterday, I just ate nuts.

I need someone to talk to.
Anyone.
Please.

AIM - Shesfallenapart
MSN - Suzannenicolemartin@hotmail.com

Vamos a Mexico!

Fri, 16 Jan 2009 23:32:36 GMT

I'm sickish.
My thighs are so big I want to shoot myself.
Eating anything makes me sick.
I can eat SunChips, sometimes.
I'm freezing all the time.
Hard to keep awake late at work.
Took today off from school, too sick to get out of bed.
Might quit my job, more on that much later.
I smoke an insane amount.
Does not curve my hunger.
Haven't smoke pot since Wednesday except 1/3 of a joint.
Tore a ligament in my foot.
I am freezing.
Am at the lowest weight I've been in over a year.
Need a friend.
Hit me up.
AIM - shesfallenapart

Mon, 14 Apr 2008 04:56:43 GMT

I'm so lonely in a crowded room.
My sister gave me quite a beating yesterday
I hurt like hell.
I called the cops, my parents were furious.
My scale is gone, my mum took it.
I hurt.

I'm a bitch.

Sun, 16 Mar 2008 15:06:58 GMT

Did you ever have to make up your mind?
Pick up on one and leave the other one behind
It's not often easy, and not often kind
Did you ever have to make up your mind?
Did you ever have to finally decide?
Say yes to one and let the other one ride
There's so many changes, and tears you must hide
Did you ever have to finally decide?
Sometimes there's one with deep blue eyes, cute as a bunny
With hair down to here, and plenty of money
And just when you think she's that one in the world
Your heart gets stolen by some mousy little girl
And then you know you better make up your mind
Pick up on one and leave the other one behind
It's not often easy, and not often kind
Did you ever have to make up your mind?
Sometimes you really dig a girl the moment you kiss her
And then you get distracted by her older sister
When in walks her father and takes you in line
And says "Better go home, son, and make up your mind."
Then you bet you'd better finally decide!
And say yes to one and let the other one ride
There's so many changes, and tears you must hide
Did you ever have to finally decide

I fail.

Mon, 03 Mar 2008 07:30:17 GMT

Food 0/2 [I ordered a pizza. Yeah. 2,500 calories worth of food today. I want to die.]
Water: 2/2
Exercise 2/2
Journaling/Posting 2/2
Daily Self Esteem Challenge 2/2

8/10
3/1/28

Sun, 02 Mar 2008 19:32:10 GMT

Dear Brain,
Please stop making me hungry.
Love,
Me.

Dear Stomach,
Please feel better despite the food I put in you.
I promise never to eat at 1am again.
Love,
Me

Sun, 02 Mar 2008 07:16:43 GMT

Food 2/2 Stayed just under my 1,000 calorie limit. 997!
Water 2/2 Yay me!
Exercise 2/2 =)
Journaling/Posting 2/2
Daily Self Esteem Challenge I did the dishes, either Thursday or next Saturday, I'm going to mop the floor.

I did so well today, despite the fact my dad come over and we spent over $400 on groceries.

Day One = Perfect.

Sat, 01 Mar 2008 02:18:51 GMT

Food 2/2 Went over by just a smidge but made up for it. =)
Water 2/2 Yay me!
Exercise 2/2 Yay me.
Journaling/Posting 2/2 Duhhhh.
Daily Self Esteem Challenge 2/2 Finished my book and have eight people here to party today.
10/10

1/0/10

Haha.

Fri, 29 Feb 2008 16:50:34 GMT

http://enfermiza.livejournal.com/6820.html?mode=reply

The girl mentioned is Sarah.
XD
Bitch, one day Karma is going to bite you in the ass.

How could I forget?

Fri, 29 Feb 2008 16:44:02 GMT

I totally forgot to tell you guyssss after my little note to stupid cunt head.
I'm 136!
That makes me really happy.
17.5 lbs til my low weigh.
I can't weight til I'm 134. Then I'm closer to 130 then to 140.
I'm so proud of myself.
Today, I'm probably just going to eat poptarts, yogurt and corn.
Lovely sounding isn't it?
♥
♥

ATHGFHFGDBGNB.

Fri, 29 Feb 2008 14:10:45 GMT

So, I have this online friend, I've known him six years.
A long time ago, I fell in love with him.
But before that, he was dating a girl I know, we'll cal her SARAH.
We used to write letters and have phone calls, and I was going to go down and see him.
Then, I got in trouble and wasn't allowed online.
It takes longer for a letter to get to Amsterdam then to get to Mexico City.
Anyways, it didn't take long for him to realize that it that SARAH was who he was in love with.
And he left me.

Well they've been together since my sophomore year in high school (I'm a freshman in college now..)

She left him for the last time, last night.

He's really hurting.

She's got an ED, so Sarah dearest....I hope you find this.

And you know, you have destroyed someone who is literally one of the most important people in my life.
And If I ever lay eyes on you, I will fucking beat you down.
There are ways to end a relationship that aren't rude or crass or fucking evil, you dumb cunt.
Love,
Me

Home Sweet Home..

Fri, 29 Feb 2008 04:15:20 GMT

So, I moved in with my lovely boyfriend in England after moving to Humbolt and getting all my stuff stolen.
We spend some weeks in the netherlands, and there are no fat girls there.
Not kidding.
I spent six days in the hospital in england with a lung infection.
It sucked balls.
Louk's sister is 5'7 and 108.
Louk's mother is probably 5'9 and 120 or something.
Yeah, Hello My name is Suzy and I'm that beautiful boy's fat girlfriend.
When I got home in December, I weighted 147.5 fucking pounds.
I wanted to die.
I'm finally down to 137.
I went walking for a half and hour today and turned in some job applications today.
I threw a party on Saturday and a friend of mine got a picture next to me with this girl who weighs like 100 lbs, I just look like the fat girl next to her.
:(

Oooh Shit.

Fri, 14 Sep 2007 06:47:42 GMT

Once upon a time, I saw this beautiful girl in a thinspo community.
Or some ED-related community.
She had pictures of her and her boyfriend.

And... holy shit!
I knew her boyfriend. We grew up going to school together.
Thee guy was an ass, but it was weird, knowing that this girl, could live in my town, and she could be posting pictures and someone could reconize her. Like myself.

Fast forward to..today.

I know just reconized someone else.
Who happens to be close friends.
With someone I used to be close friends with, but just recently stopped talking to, because she's a bitch.
Great.
Hello world.

Everything in one update.

Thu, 13 Sep 2007 02:15:51 GMT

1. Louk's in Holland. Him not being here is killing me.
2. My Dad's sick. He's got ballder cancer, but they're treating it, so he should be fine.
3. I went to NorCal to go to school. Couldn't find a place to live, so I moved back. I moved in with these people from CraigList. They had cats, so I couldn't stay, because I'm allergic. Then, I lived with this shady ass mother fucker, Cory, who put his hands down my pants and shit, apparently "asleep". It scared me, I told Louk, my roommate threw me out. I moved in with a class mate, before coming back home.

When I was living with Shady ass motherr fucker Cory, I met this beautiful guy named Billy Ray, I'll never see him again but it was nice knowing him. I'm going to Holland to be with Louk, once I get my passport. The end.

Thu, 05 Jul 2007 23:53:03 GMT

I'm huge.

Pot makes me eat.

Logically, stop smoking pot.

I could.
Pot is not addictive.
I'd miss it.

FUCK, I GOT SO HIGH TODAY.
My sister brought three friends.
One was a green-haired albino looking kid, with an IQ lower than his shoesize.
Second was a pretty average looking scene kid.
Third was a GIANT GIRL. Like by normal people's standards.
She was like 300 lbs.
Ew.

She was really sweet, I talked her ear off.

I filled out an application at Jack-in-the-box today.
Louk is buying 1/4 of bud.

For $70.

That's insane amount of weed!

Jamie gave me some to make hot guy a joint or two.

Fuck, my dad just came ome.
I'm so nervous he can smell the pot in my house.
Hopefully not.
Going to go upstairs and talk to hot guy.
I'm huge.
I want to go to the gym.

GAH.

Wed, 04 Jul 2007 21:56:17 GMT

Hot guy just sent me a message from Europe.
I never want to get on te scale again.
I'm probably huge.
I'm going to the gym in a little while.
I really need to look for a job tomorrow.

Tue, 03 Jul 2007 23:31:04 GMT

Ew.
So I just had about.. 460 calories.
I want to go to the gym, but I don't really feel god, because..(TMI WARNING.) I took one lax yesterday, and it's still fucking with me. Waking up at 5:00 AM to sht your guts out is NOT FUN. (End TMI.)
I am not looking for a job, ya know why?
Because I'M FAT.
NO ONE WANTS TO HIRE A FAT GIRL.
Still feel gross.
AIM ME -- Shesfallenapart

Also, Anyone know where I can post pics and people can comment? Like a community?

Tue, 03 Jul 2007 15:49:28 GMT

I FUCKING GAINED AGAIN.
STUPID THAI FOOD.
NOW, I'M 133.5, I don't know what it is.
No more bitching, I'm going to sleep, I've felt sick all night.

I feel horrible.

Tue, 03 Jul 2007 00:24:25 GMT

I was cutting carrots for the family,when Dad puled something out of the friddge.
"Is that corn bread?" I said.
"It's lemon pie, here have a taste." He said, holdikng the butter knife to my lips.
I spit it out.
I'm a horible daughter.

THIS IS NOT FUCKING FAIR.

Mon, 02 Jul 2007 16:10:20 GMT

MY BOYFRIEND IS LEAVING IN..47 DAYS.
I just want him to stay.
I understand he isn't disappearing.
I just don't want him to go.
I'm so selfish.

Wondering..

Mon, 02 Jul 2007 15:30:43 GMT

So, I own a website. It has boards for buying, selling, trading, roleplaying, and chatting. It's a big general board, I guess.

If I made an ED support board on my forum, would any of you join it? I'd password lock it, so you'd need a password to view it..Let me know.

Me and Patty..

Mon, 02 Jul 2007 14:43:09 GMT

So, Louk's boss Paul left the day before yesterday. Back for Holland. i can't believe in less than two months its happening to me. The guys are having a kickback, soon and us ladies are NOT INVITED. So, i guess Sarah(Michael's girlfriend, Michael's another co-worker of Louk) and I are going to do something girly - like get manicures. I wana invite Patty..but this one thing is sticking in my head..

I really want to be a nurse. I took an anatomy class in high school, followed by an advanced biomedical class, my senior year. Fufilling my pre-reqs for the nursing program at the JC here, and well.. We had a conversation and I messed up a word. The two words were similiar, but she corrected me and I felt so stupid.

She's probably really hurting, because Paul is such a great guy. I had the hugest crush on his when Louk first introduced me. He's like, "OMGHOT.": and the sweetest gut ever, he cdame and saw me sing in my chior concert, brought mt a present fromm Holland after Christmas..

I jsut hope Patty's okay. But, she's done this before, dated another aerospace engineer, who ended up leaving. They broke up. She's like a grown up popular girl, with her bleached blonde hair and her big tits. I'm like a little fat girl..

Yay.

Sun, 01 Jul 2007 19:25:35 GMT

I'm 132!!!!

Finally on my way back down again!